rejected.

Ehyehyehy!
Just came back from school. Feeling kind of down today.
Well, I'll not state names aye. I'll just introduce them as Z and N.
The Z and N are not their initials kay, so please do not anyhow guess.
Kay, you may think that this "fight" is childish, but this is my blog
and I have the right to post anything that I want to kay.

It all started when me, Z, and Y went to the general office to take some PSLE books. Then, we 3 went inside, but where got a class have 3 monitors? The maximum is like 2 monitors right. Yeahh.

So Z went inside, as she is the official monitor. Yeah, haha. So me and Y waited outside, planned about our outing. Then, suddenly she went inside with Z. At that time, I really felt left out, being alone, teachers going in and out of the general office, glaring at me like I was a freak. They probably are thinking this, " What is this girl doing outside alone? " So I ignored all the glares, was waiting for Z and Y to be done. Actually, I sincerely followed Z to help her carry the PSLE books. But then Y tagged along. Then, suddenly, Y came out and asked me to go back to class. She shoo-ed me away. She told me that Z asked her to do that. I know that at that time in class, our classmates were playing. I felt very rejected. I know this is a small issue, but who wouldn't feel the way I felt just now? If you don't, then maybe you do not have feelings. And I doubt that people do not have feelings. I mean like, pffft. So I went back to class alone. Then, they came back. OH, and guess what? They were struggling to carry the books. That's what happened. Then they had troubles lifting the books up. I mean like, in the class there are 27 pupils and the book itself is so frigging heavy, and you rejected my help. Then we went to Computer Lab to do out Travel Plan Declaration. Z chatted with me on msn. She told me that she was sorry, she did not know that the books would be frigging heavy. I have a soft place in my heart, I wanted to forgive her, but my evil side would not let me to. They do not understand that I need time alone, with other friends to swallow it all in. Sometimes I wonder if we are destinied to be friends, or we challenged fate just to be best friends. I really do not understand them. Then, Z told me that Y told her to not talk to me. I don't give a damn, but I can't deny my feelings. I'm not childish, but nobody can deny their feelings. I just needed time alone to accept reality. That's all. And, when we lined up, they were standing beside me. They were like, talking aloud, I know they are talking about me. I really don't know what to do to keep this friendship going. I have no idea what to do. So, do not expect me to take the first step, as firstly, I do not think that I am in the wrong and secondly, I won't take the initiative. I expect Y take the initiative, as Z had done so. I think I'd forgiven Z. I know she did not do it in purpose. But Y did not have to ask her to stop talking to me, yada yada yada. Can't she just accept that I want some time alone with other friends? Haiz.